Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
