just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just invented taco cereal.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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