Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
