I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
