That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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