Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
