We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
