Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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