I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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