Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize