I hate all girls vehemently.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
