My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
