And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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