Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
