My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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