i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
