It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
