physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
No stitches, just platelets and will power
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize