she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize