this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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