i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No subtext here. People are naked.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
