woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
