I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
