how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
