i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
