do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
love makes seman taste better
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
