He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
