I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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