My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
