Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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