Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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