he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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