A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Your dad touched me again.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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