I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize