I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
