3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We have started to decorate penises.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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