I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
