It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
