If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
