She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
