Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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