He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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