i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
