id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize