we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
