Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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