Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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