As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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