This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize