Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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