Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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