apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
