There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
