I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
