oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
