respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We have started to decorate penises.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
