she kept yelling 'call me bella'
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
