Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Randomize
