So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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