Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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