So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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