just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
