why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just found puke in my bra..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
