Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
