take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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