I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
