Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
