i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
