is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my being single is dangerous.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
