You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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