I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
