I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
