This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
