2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
