IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
