So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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