My first STD was from a foam party
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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