i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
