The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
